Judgments, Insecurities and Self
Belonging, Identity, Culture, Self &
Self Efficacy, Self Esteem, Self-Concept

By:  Calleen Wilder 

How do we judge things you don't understand?  How do we decide between what is discernment and what is outright judgment?

I know that we all do it, even if we'd rather not.  I too am guilty of automatically assuming things about certain people.  I also know that I am at the receiving end of much judgment because of the gifts and paranormal abilities that I possess.  

People seem to either be fascinated by or displeased by anyone with a paranormal gift.  I still don't quite understand why anyone would fear this ability, as it is simply a gift that I've had since birth, and thus quite normal to me.  I compare it to the gifts of an artist, a surgeon, a writer or whoever has a particular set of talents to work with.  Communicating with spirit is just another gift that some people have more acutely than others.

Prophecy is not new; it's as old and as documented as mankind.  Yet I believe because of the various church's, kings and rulers of the times  who needed all the power to be theirs in order for the masses to submit to their demands and willingly give them their hard earned money, those who might have the power of "insight & intuition" were cast as evil, as a gift granted only by the devil; instead of the God given gift it is.

Now, I'm not here to put down any one church.  I believe church is a good thing and that many people need that congregating of souls to lift their vibrations and hearts to the point of remembering that life really is bigger than we know, and that love and goodness truly is the answer.  So I for one am grateful for the churches as they fill a definite need within our society.  However, I don't believe they feel the same way about me.

I for one could never "belong" to a church, as not only do I seem to draw attention from everyone else almost immediately upon entering (sticking out like a sore thumb so to speak....grin), but I cannot follow any one particular doctrine.  So I call my religion "Calleen's religion".  It is personal to me; it is well thought out, deeply researched and very individualized.

Even when I was younger I knew things that the church taught me were incorrect, again my opinion, and I just never bought into the whole theory that everyone in that church must have the same thought patterns or they were unholy or heathens. 

How is it possible to believe anything exactly as someone else believes it, when we all see things so differently?  If you held up a shade of yellow for instance, we would all describe it differently to one degree or another.  Perception is the key. 

God didn't make us to think alike, he made us to share our own personal perceptions, gifts and talents with each other---no two being exactly alike--in order to bring healing, love and kindness to this earth in our own unique fashion.

Therefore, while sometimes in my past I have been judged harshly for not following the rules of the church that was attended by whomever it was I was speaking to at the time, I now realize how strong, independent and determined this whole process has made me.

Am I more right than they are?  No.  They are every bit as "right" as I, only from a different perspective.

That being said, I have had a few dreams as of late that let me know that I am still holding back my abilities to some degree.  That the past judgments and hostilities I have faced are still influencing my way of living.  Yet, on the other hand, as my children are always the ones that pay some of the price for my own unique world view, I must be cautious in revealing my thoughts to just anyone.  So where is the balance?

I believe that balance is about to be achieved for me, through my higher self or the powers that be quite soon.  That I have been working towards this time for all of my life and now it is here and some of the things I am to do while here on earth will surely merit some stern criticism...yet at the same time, do a great deal of good for those meant to receive it.

I'm sure that many of you have found yourself in these same shoes at one time or another, perhaps over something not so life consuming.   When your opinion differs from the vast majority on any subject, there is always a lashing out by those that fear change and coloring outside of the predetermined lines.

All of the truly great people in the world, or really anyone that made a difference was ostracized by others and sometimes paid dearly for it.  Look at JFK, Martin Luther King, Jesus, Gandhi, etc...  Of course, I'm not aiming that high, but they help me to realize that a little growing pain goes along with the gain, and it can only affect me as much as I allow it too.  And as far as my children go, I am in a position now that I can alter that to some degree too.  Therefore, it's full steam ahead for me.

Of course, some degree of decorum will still be needed.  I won't be trying to convert some of my very religious neighbors over to my way of thinking, in fact I won't even be sharing with them my "true identity" (grin).  However, I doubt they share all about their lives with me either.

In the end, what I have concluded is that while I am very proud to have the abilities and thoughts that I have, I do not have to shout them from the mountaintops to "own" them.  I have the right to remain somewhat private about my abilities with those who would really not wish to know about them anyway.  Yet, at the same time, the fact that everyone doesn't know that I'm a psychic and a medium doesn't detract from the gift itself, nor how I feel about it.

It doesn't show a shame about my abilities, which will soon be known to more people than ever before via my website.  But instead a bit of considerate prudence is necessary for my family, myself and my fellow human beings who prefer I not make myself known to them.

For the longest of times I have tried to keep a lid on my abilities to one degree or another, but now I'm happy to say I feel that I'm wide open, yet I won't be spilling my contents out onto whomever I meet just because I can.

In your life I hope you find the same balance.  The freedom to let yourself expand beyond the boundaries others may have consciously or subconsciously set for you; yet not the need to rebel in such a way as to hurt the very preciousness of your expansion and indeed the honor of your gift. 

I feel we all need to be exactly who we are without shame, guilt or denial, and yet not feel compelled to shove it down the throats of those who find it distasteful.  Ownership of our abilities does not always mean blatantly thrusting them upon others, but instead realizing their value and appreciating their fullness regardless of who knows what, thinks what, or says whatever about them. 

Inside of you they are firm, factual and finally...at home.  Peaceful in their quietness and yet ripe with potential and eager to be shared with those who need that very particular thing you have to offer.  

    Good Luck in your search...wherever it may take you.

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