Endless Possibilities
The Perceptions of Other People and how they are
Barriers to Personal Growth & Development

by Calleen Wilder

From my own personal experiences, I have found far too many people both anxious and willing to try to limit you.

Now I don't believe they do it out of meanness.  Instead, I believe they do it because they have such a firmly defined set of boundaries that is their version of reality. 

Perhaps sometimes, they do it out of their need to know more about the subject at hand than you do, or due to fear of the unknown, or maybe they simply don't want you to achieve something they feel they are not capable of.

Whatever their reasoning might be, I'm sure that at the very least, in their minds, they believe they are doing you a favor by stopping you from attempting the impossible, only to have you end up making some terrible mistake.

I for one have always taken someone's opinions on possibilities as limits they are desperately wanting me to apply to my own life....to which, being an extremely independent, yes perhaps even willful soul....I say "balderdash....I will not accept your conception of reality as my ultimate truth".  And, much to their dismay, I go on to try to achieve exactly what I had originally set out to do. 

Sometimes I accomplish my goal, sometimes I accomplish something else...yet I have always found that the risk was always worth the outcome. 

This is why the title of my newsletter is what it is.....I want to Live my Life Loudly.  I want to explore areas that I love, and others sometimes fear, and I don't mind making some noise in the process....(ha)....perhaps that's just me.  I only know that more than anything, I want to feel life, I want to experience the power of the moment when you achieve something previously thought impossible and I want to relish every single minute of it. 

If there's one thing I know for sure, it's this....The only limits that exist in our lives are the ones we allow to exist.

Why might we do this?  Many reasons.  Most humans need to feel there are boundaries on what they can do or what can be done to them.  They feel safer knowing that things can go this far, but no farther.  That life has some predictability about it and that we will only be required to experience that which we are somewhat comfortable with.

And then, something unexpected happens and some of their boundaries get blown up.  Perhaps a child gets sick and they go places and see people they never thought they would because they are desperate for their child to get well.  Perhaps they become ill or someone dies, or whatever the situation, they are searching for a reason to believe again...to have faith....to have hope....trust....etc... 

They may begin reading books, studying religious texts, talking with a different type of people than they normally would.  And sometimes they start questioning, examining and poking holes in all of their previously held and cherished beliefs.

Life always seems to find a way to help us in understanding that all limits are only "pretend" and definitely of our own making.

On the plus side of this is a sometimes scary thought...that being that we truly can do anything.  Take that in....YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.....  While fate and destiny play some very important roles in our lives, we have thousands of pathways that we can explore in order to reach our final destination.

Some of these pathways appear safe, so many try to take them.  They are the "normal" everyday type of life path.  And while this path is blissfully easy for awhile, and we feel safe, we fit-in, we have friends, family and jobs that are pretty "normal"....we eventually will run into a boulder that life has placed somewhere along this pathway and refuses to let us go around it.  Some chaotic, unexpected event stands between us and the rest of our somewhat peaceful path.  We can't ignore it, we can't pretend it isn't there, and we can't go through it unaware.

Instead, until we study this boulder, experience this boulder and explore all of the different options to removing this boulder from our path, we cannot proceed on our path at all.  Thus, we are given little other choice put to contemplate our options, and try to understand why the boulder is there in the first place. 

If we are smart, we will try to understand what we are to gain from figuring out how to get around, or remove this boulder. 

As we study it, we employ a lot of our resources that perhaps we have never employed before, simply in order to reach a conclusion as to how to remove this boulder, and as a result of this, we grow stronger.  In the mind that we have just stretched, perhaps even in our body and our spirit, we grow.

Aha....perhaps that's why the boulder is here.  That's why my pathway was so abruptly interrupted, so that I could grow. 

So once we have thought, debated and tried to find a way to remove this boulder, we discover options.  We can either try to forcefully move the boulder....but it's too heavy.  We can try to find some lever to propel it away from us....but the boulder is heavier than any available lever.......So....what will we do?

Perhaps if we feel brave, perhaps because we have no other choice, we alter our pathway.  We go off the safe pathway we have grown so accustomed to and we venture into the "wilderness"...where there are no boundaries, no guarantees, no other beings....and we are frightened at first....perhaps afraid we will get lost.  But usually, what I have found is that in taking this detour we grow braver, more determined, and we see things others who stay on this pathway, perhaps blocked by their boulders and perhaps locked in their pain, frustration and anger at this boulder, will never have the chance to see.

We see there are no monsters out there.  There may be more boulders, but we are now somewhat experienced at these boulders and we know we must gather whatever strength it takes to venture even further off our path so that in turn, again, we can become stronger, braver and more knowledgeable.

We discover that each new off-shoot provides us new information about the world, the things that are possible in this world and even our own astonishment of how much we have changed in our minds, our hearts and our thoughts.

We also discover we would never go back to that "normal" pathway again, as while it is indeed safer, it is so much more limiting and so much less colorful than this path less traveled.

My point is this; enjoy your ventures off of the proverbial well beaten pathway.  You don't have to enjoy the boulders, just enjoy the strength they have brought you.  Know that some of the things you will see on your side-ventures will be things no other person will ever be able to see in the exact same manner that you have seen them.

Know that what you have gained from your courage is so precious to you and your sense of self...for all lifetimes.

And most importantly, don't ever believe it when someone tells you that you can't do this or that; perhaps even that you can't become that, because it's not possible.  Or, justifying their limits by saying that no one else has ever done it, etc....  Just go do it. 

You may achieve your goal....you may achieve an even more fulfilling alternative to your goal.  But you'll never know unless you reject all of the naysayers and bravely push on; a pioneer of your own life and your own reality.

Some of my highest accomplishments and most personally satisfying achievements have been because of my daring to venture into realms that others fear.  Even sometimes pushing limits that even I believed existed.  I can also say that most of my explorations were done out of necessity at first, never choice.

What I know for sure is this...Nothing is real but the power of your soul.  So Explore!!!!   Have fun with it!!!!  Do what no one else dares to do.... 

And know that when the boulder appears, which they always will, regardless of our path, that's its OK to be frustrated or angry or sad or even lost for awhile.....  As long as you are willing to grow through experiencing this set-back, you will. 

In the end, you will be thankful for having grown because of the event, instead of stopping and refusing to move on with your life out of fear, hurt or pain.  So many people do this...and it is so wasteful of such a perfectly great opportunity called life.

Have Fun.....Dare to be different....we are all different anyway, it's just some people hide it better than the rest of us.....(ha).

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